man in black reebok shoes about to carry barbell

If it feels heavy, it’s not expansion

Don’t you hate when you can see something so clearly in someone else but not in yourself? I think we all have those moments where we’re so deep in our stuff that we’re unable to see anything clearly. In fact, the question I most often hear from my clients is “What am I not seeing?” and when I tune in, it lights up for me in seconds. Once you understand what’s going on, you can shift it. Until then, you waste time and energy digging a hole.

The hole I was digging was launching the next cohort of Channel Your Light. I love this work so so much and was hell bent on getting it out in the world that I couldn’t (wouldn’t?) see that the energy shifted. I pushed and pushed through tech issues, copy issues, perfection issues – I was conquering them all. Huzzah!!

THEN I NOTICED I COULDN’T BREATHE.

For real. I couldn’t take a deep breath at all. This breathing issue has shown up a few times before, usually when I’m under enormous stress. It’s a signal. (Duh, I know.)

It was a signal to stop digging and step away, even if for a moment. Did I pay attention? Hell no! I kept on, gearing up to launch the training, all while barely breathing. When I met with my wonderful mentor, Jonathan Stewart on Monday and casually mentioned the breathing thing, he zeroed right in on that.

Turns out, the energy is off for me, for the program, for how the information wants to be in the world now. I thought I had to keep digging because expansion, amirite? No pain, no gain. No socks, no shoes. (h/t Eddie Izzard)

Jonathan said this, illuminating everything: “Expansion is never hard or heavy. It’s exhilarating and light, even a little bit scary.”

Well, shoot. He’s right. I thought back to my invitation from Prince to be his channel. It was scary as all hell but so exciting, it felt like my soul had wings to fly around the moon. Pretty much the opposite of what I was feeling now.

Thing is, I KNOW THIS. But I chose to ignore it even when my body was showing me in a very clear, recognizable way. STOP, it said. TAKE A BREATH, it said. But but but …. all the hard work, the money, the time … POOF? Just let it go? My brain just could not comprehend doing such a thing!

Yes. Release it for now and see what wants to be born in its place. That felt so freeing and, dare I say it, expansive. It’s the right thing to do right now.

I was planning to segment off the first 3 modules anyway and create “The Foundation of Trust” program so those who aren’t into ‘channeling’ per se could still benefit from the trust deepening process we used in the training.

And from one simple question I posed to Metatron came something called “The Joy Expansion Matrix” – a new way to create. It’s in beta testing now – I’ll let you know how it’s going.

For now, though, Channel Your Light is on hold

And my breathing is much better thanks to Jonathan reflecting to me what I had been unwilling to acknowledge. (That’s the power of a good mentor. They reflect truth with a gentle hand.)

Energy doesn’t lie. Let it guide you in all things. And if you’re lost or feeling weighed down (or, ya know, have issues breathing – aack!), ask for help from someone you trust to tell you what’s going on.

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